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Q&A: How do I change honeymoon plans without seeming ungrateful or hurting my inlaws (who are offering) feelings?

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How do I change without seeming ungrateful or hurting my inlaws (who are offering) feelings?
My wedding is coming up On November 1st. My future inlaws have offered to pay for our honeymoon. Unfortunately my father in law might be laid off in September, so money might be tight. They have offered to send us to Monterey, CA I live in East Bay in CA. This is not anything close to what I want, I am not interested in changing the price tag just locations.I am upset that I wasn’t given choices at all. How should I go about this with out hurting their feelings?

Best answer:

Answer by jymjunky
Grooms parents – grooms responsibility to deal with – but you should absolutely express how grateful you are for the offer – Tell them that since money may be tight, you couldn’t dream of having them spend money on you. Tell them that you’ve always wanted your honeymoon to be “whereever you want to say” and assure them that once their financial situatation improves and you guys have kids (if you;re going to) they can spoil them instead.

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3 Comments

Tell them that you and your fiance were *really* looking forward to a honeymoon in Vegas (or wherever). It might be better if your fiance does the talking, because it is his family.

I’m with you about your feelings. I live in Fremont, and Monterey is nice for a weekend trip but not for a honeymoon when you live an hour away! It’s fairly expensive there too, and for the same price you can probably go to Tahoe or Vegas.

I was actually in a similar position, first with a voucher for a week at a timeshare, then with a cruise (which would have been nice, but difficult to work into our schedules). Fortunately our venue is a hotel and they gave us 7 nights free at one of their other hotels, so I never had to deal directly with this sticky inlaw situation.


Talk to your fiance and then talk to his parents together. It is a difficult thing but tell them right off the hop that you don’t want to seem ungrateful but….we would both like to go to this place instead. Wehave always wanted to visit/go see ect. Explain why and with your fiancee by your side too it will help the situation. Good luck


This might be something your fiance should talk to them about since they’re his parents.


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